Desire

I warned you that I had this in mind and now you get to read all the things that are swirling around in this brain of mine as I have been reading this book by John Eldridge. I have mentioned some of them and I might go into more detail later about them as well, but there are a couple really that are making me want to talk.

One of the more interesting things that I read was the idea of grief. How often do we set aside our feelings of hurt or aching in order to "get on with life". Instead of allowing God to step in and heal us where we are aching, we hold it in and it affects our lives from that moment forward. Eldridge talks about a time in his life when a very close friend died. He was out with his family on a vacation a couple months later and was walking alone in the woods. He just started crying about his friends death, but that wasn't all. It was the catalyst for his tears, but it also brought out all these other past pains that had been hidden by life.

My wife was telling me that this rings true for her as well. Early in our dating life, I knew that I had to be open and honest about my past. That no matter how she reacted, at least she would know everything and could decide then for herself if it was too much to get past, which was her right. Well, after I told her we prayed and talked a bit longer, but then she went home. I didn't know this until later, but she cried about what both of us had lost. She fought against the urge to just say to herself "that its ok", but instead allowed herself to grieve. She told me later that because she took the time to allow herself to feel that sorrow, she could let it go and not let it hinder our relationship. I am thankful that she took that time so that we could enjoy the freedom the we have now.

The other main point that I wanted to discuss is the idea of beauty. In the book, Eldridge talks about counseling a rape victim and how he was struggling to find some way in order to connect or something to tell her. During the session, he kept getting drawn toward the flowers on her shirt collar, something that normally would mean nothing to him. So, he said a few things and then sort of off-handily, mentioned the flowers. She seemed to change and talked about how since the incident, spending time in her garden around her flowers has been the one of the only places she found comfort. It was then that it hit him, that being surrounded by beauty was healing.

I started thinking of how this has been true in my life. When I was living with my parents, I used to step out on our back deck and just stare at the stars. On a clear night, they filled the night sky from as far as you could see. It was breathtaking. I would stand there thinking about how something so beautiful spoke volumes about how much God loves us. All of creation is an example of God's beauty. The best part is that we are only seeing the beauty of a fallen world, and that one day it will burst open and show us exactly what God had created it to be, just like we will be made in the way that God created us to be. But, back to the idea of beauty being healing, think of a wedding. I am heading to a wedding this weekend. Inevitably, one of the most common things that you will hear is about how beautiful the bride looked or something to that nature. The whole wedding is centered around her beauty. It is so important that we all stop doing anything else and pause to watch her beauty enter the room. Think of that for a moment. I can't remember a time when I went to a wedding and when the bride entered, there wasn't a smile on every one's face.

The bearers of beauty in this world are women, who were made as a reflection of the beauty that God has. That is part of their being made in God's image. Thus, the enemy attacks them in that area to make them ashamed or feel unworthy of the adoration and the word "beautiful". If the enemy takes away that aspect of her nature, he hurts the whole race. I am thankful for the ability to remind my wife of how utterly beautiful she is. In fact, I am mesmerized by it at times. I find comfort in her beauty, I find rest in her arms, that is what I am talking about in healing. Its why for the most part, children will run to their mother when seeking comfort. There is something healing about being near a woman.

I have no idea if any of that rings true with you or not, but I know that God has been talking to me about this stuff.

Wednesday night goodness and a little off topic

We had our second meeting on Wednesday night dealing with freedom and what that can mean to us as Christians. It was another good session. Steven Johnson was talking about some very interesting things. Stuff that I hadn't really thought about but definitely hit home. One of the things that he said was that its the meaning that we give to events in our past that affect our beliefs. If you perceived that you were hurt by a situation, you were hurt. I know that I have struggled with this. I might look back at a hurt in the past and think that it shouldn't be that painful, but still have aches from it. Those are the areas that I need to ask for God to remove that pain. And thats the key, that we have to ask. It is a choice that we have to make about what we want God to do. God wants to help us, but he also loves us so much that he won't force Himself on us. The example of this that Johnson gives is John 5:1-14. It is the story of the man at the Pool of Bethesda. The first thing that Jesus says to the man is "Do you want to get well?" That is the choice that we are given. We get so comfortable with our pain, that changing things, which would be required can be quite scary. Its not that we enjoy being hurt, but that we don't know anything else. I am continuing to look at those areas in my life that I know that I have pains. They aren't fun to visit, but I also know that God's freedom is better than coping with these pains.

One of the other things that Johnson was talking about is that there are 3 areas that are sources of burdens that we carry around. They are anger, disappointment, and grief. I know that there is some anger and grief in my past that I have to deal with, but I know that the disappointment that I keep in my life is far greater. I have many things that I have done in the past that I think that shouldn't have or that I feel like I have let some one down. These are the areas that I don't want to really get into, but I need to. Its not going to be fun, but it will be fruitful to be the man that I need to be.

I want to mention Desire again. One of the things that Eldridge talks about is that we are made for something . He even goes to the extent to say that whatever you get excited about (writing, singing, etc) is what you were made for. I don't know if I completely believe this, but I do know that your desire is where you heart is. My problem is that I don't have an occupation or a talent that gets me excited. Was I made for nothing? I know thats not true, but I wonder about this idea.

Ok, now to step off topic. If you don't want to read this, thats fine, but I am going to talk about politics. I love watching and following politics. I think thats important for people to do that so that they know what their government is doing. I was led to this article about looking at voting as a Christian and how we can base our votes. I think its worth a look as well.

That being said, I will now launch into my personal beliefs. You can ignore them if you want, but these are the things that I think. In that article, one of the things that you are asked to look at is the character of the candidates and thats what I think people should be looking at in regards to our presidential candidates. I might not agree fully with everything that McCain stands for. However, I don't think that anyone can claim that he is not a man of character. While this might end up with people doing searches and trying to put up their ideas in comments, I will say that I can't be sure of Obama's character. There are so many questions about his past. And it would seem that for the most part people don't care. Is it because no one cares about judgement and character anymore? I won't say that if you vote for Obama that you aren't a Christian, because I don't know your reasons. You know one of my reasons for choosing to vote for McCain, but I have others that won't really fit in this blog. I write about this because I think that part of our life as Christians is that we have to be people above reproach. In other words, people of great character. I just offer that, as a Christian, that your idea of who has greater character should be a consideration.

Alright, enough of that talk. I appreciate you letting me stray away for a few. I might not be back this week due to a short day for me tomorrow. I am heading to my parents and enjoying a couple days with the family and will be back on Monday.

PS If you came here due to a search and are about to blast me about Obama vs McCain, please don't. Its not necessary. You can think the way you want and I will think the way I want. At the end of the day, we are still Americans and politics are just politics.

New Week

Last week I mentioned something about how I often feel like there is no one to talk to between services. I wanted to say that it was something completely different this week. It was like God was listening to my typing and decided to speak right in that area. I ended up having a good conversation with new friends and the pastor about our Alma mater, Campbellsville University. I love talking about things that I did back then or just talking about how much I loved the experiences that I had there. It is a great place and if any prospective college students are looking for a good Christian college, you can't do better than ole CU. Yeah, thats shameless homerism, but I am thankful for all that I got out of my time at CU and am thankful that I can point anyone in their direction. Thats beside the point though. My point is that I sat in thought about how I could have easily had another Sunday where I felt sort of out of place, but that wasn't what God wanted me to experience. I also think that it was me being faithful and going up to others to talk. There were two times Sunday morning that I felt an urging to talk to others, this was the second time. The first was just to invite a couple to our bible study on Mondays. I don't know if they will come or not, but I wanted to make sure they felt welcomed. I think that is what I am learning, that making people welcomed to our church isn't some body else's job, its mine. Its actually everybody who claims to be a member of our church's job, but I feel it more so than others who have been there from the beginning, probably. Its not that they have a heart that is welcoming, but that they sometimes forget what it was like when you were new and I still have that fresh in my memory and still fall back on that sometimes. So, I am going to try something different. Instead of trying to find some one to talk to me, I am going to be the one to talk to them. A little bit out of my comfort zone, but thats alright.

Ok, I keep talking about the book, Desire, but thats because it has some good GOOD stuff in it. This weekend one of the things that I read was about how we often are more excited about a future event here on earth than we are about eternity. What do we really think Heaven will be like? Eldridge gives the example that many think that Heaven will be a really long church service. I am sorry, this may sound bad, but for the most part, I don't think that a church service is something that people get excited about. His point is that what we look forward to, is a picture of what we are desiring. We definitely should be thankful for the events that we get to have here, but our hearts should long for that connection with God that eternity offers. I know that I am mentioning this because its an area that I had to stop and think about and examine myself about. I do doubt that I am the only one when pressed would admit the same thoughts. This book is good about opening our eyes to what we really are desiring even when we say all the right things.

The message yesterday at our service was about letting the Holy Spirit rule in your life. Not rule, like reign, but rule as in an official. There are many times in our life when we have a decision to make and God calls for us to allow the Holy Spirit to discern which way we should go. And even if we choose wrong, that we take care of it right then, not to let anything linger. If we allow it just to stay there, then we allow our lives to get out of balance. That was my prayer last night and is my prayer today. The last thing that I wanted to mention from yesterday's service was a new song. It was written by our music minister's friend and wow. It was called "Whisper His Name", I guess and I was just blown away by the truth in the song. It repeats that line with an echo of "Jesus" for 3 times, then says, and He will answer you. Then "Call out His Name" with an echo of "Jesus" for 3 times followed by "and he will come to you". Then "Shout out His Name" with an echo of "Jesus" for 3 times followed by "and he will RUN to you" (emphasis mine). Let that sit on you, the fact that Jesus longs to run to you to help you. It just floored me. The other lines are good and maybe someday I will put it up here or you will hear it and God will bless you with it as well. Either way, just had to share that.

Its another week. Who knows what the week has in store, well God does. Makes sense that we would ask Him to lead us, huh? I think that is what I am going to do. Till next time!!!