Desire

I warned you that I had this in mind and now you get to read all the things that are swirling around in this brain of mine as I have been reading this book by John Eldridge. I have mentioned some of them and I might go into more detail later about them as well, but there are a couple really that are making me want to talk.

One of the more interesting things that I read was the idea of grief. How often do we set aside our feelings of hurt or aching in order to "get on with life". Instead of allowing God to step in and heal us where we are aching, we hold it in and it affects our lives from that moment forward. Eldridge talks about a time in his life when a very close friend died. He was out with his family on a vacation a couple months later and was walking alone in the woods. He just started crying about his friends death, but that wasn't all. It was the catalyst for his tears, but it also brought out all these other past pains that had been hidden by life.

My wife was telling me that this rings true for her as well. Early in our dating life, I knew that I had to be open and honest about my past. That no matter how she reacted, at least she would know everything and could decide then for herself if it was too much to get past, which was her right. Well, after I told her we prayed and talked a bit longer, but then she went home. I didn't know this until later, but she cried about what both of us had lost. She fought against the urge to just say to herself "that its ok", but instead allowed herself to grieve. She told me later that because she took the time to allow herself to feel that sorrow, she could let it go and not let it hinder our relationship. I am thankful that she took that time so that we could enjoy the freedom the we have now.

The other main point that I wanted to discuss is the idea of beauty. In the book, Eldridge talks about counseling a rape victim and how he was struggling to find some way in order to connect or something to tell her. During the session, he kept getting drawn toward the flowers on her shirt collar, something that normally would mean nothing to him. So, he said a few things and then sort of off-handily, mentioned the flowers. She seemed to change and talked about how since the incident, spending time in her garden around her flowers has been the one of the only places she found comfort. It was then that it hit him, that being surrounded by beauty was healing.

I started thinking of how this has been true in my life. When I was living with my parents, I used to step out on our back deck and just stare at the stars. On a clear night, they filled the night sky from as far as you could see. It was breathtaking. I would stand there thinking about how something so beautiful spoke volumes about how much God loves us. All of creation is an example of God's beauty. The best part is that we are only seeing the beauty of a fallen world, and that one day it will burst open and show us exactly what God had created it to be, just like we will be made in the way that God created us to be. But, back to the idea of beauty being healing, think of a wedding. I am heading to a wedding this weekend. Inevitably, one of the most common things that you will hear is about how beautiful the bride looked or something to that nature. The whole wedding is centered around her beauty. It is so important that we all stop doing anything else and pause to watch her beauty enter the room. Think of that for a moment. I can't remember a time when I went to a wedding and when the bride entered, there wasn't a smile on every one's face.

The bearers of beauty in this world are women, who were made as a reflection of the beauty that God has. That is part of their being made in God's image. Thus, the enemy attacks them in that area to make them ashamed or feel unworthy of the adoration and the word "beautiful". If the enemy takes away that aspect of her nature, he hurts the whole race. I am thankful for the ability to remind my wife of how utterly beautiful she is. In fact, I am mesmerized by it at times. I find comfort in her beauty, I find rest in her arms, that is what I am talking about in healing. Its why for the most part, children will run to their mother when seeking comfort. There is something healing about being near a woman.

I have no idea if any of that rings true with you or not, but I know that God has been talking to me about this stuff.