Moving and my inability to ask for help

I took Friday off to get things moved over to our new place. Its still a rental and thats fine with me, but its a bigger place for a really good price. I am amazed that we found it, but am more than happy to have it. But, it leads me to the thoughts that have been in my mind the past couple days, even last week.

Why do I hesitate to even ask for help? When we were discussing the move, my wife told me a few people to ask to help. My first thoughts are always go to things about that they shouldn't be bothered, they have better things to do, and they don't want to help. I haven't even mentioned anything to anyone at this point, but that's my thoughts. But, I had to have help, I couldn't do it all myself. I might have been able to move some of it, but couches, a washer and dryer, and other larger items require more than I can do. The thing is that those who helped, didn't think it as much of an inconvenience. We were done in 40 minutes, and that includes driving time. But, in my mind, I felt like I was asking for them to sacrifice so much. Why do I do that? What do any of us do that?

After we got everything moved in, I was going to mow the lawn as one of my new duties at our new place. My in-laws had given us an older mower that they didn't need, but I had trouble getting it to work. This led me to having to call for help again. I sat in our new living room, nervous to call friends up that live close-by and ask for their help. These aren't just people I know, but ones that I would call friends. Our pastor lives just a couple blocks away and is such a generous person, I was sure that he would let me borrow a lawn mower for an hour or so, but I didn't want to bother him. That's my thought, I don't want to bother anyone. I ended up not getting the lawn mowed on Saturday, but did on Sunday when my in-laws bought us a new one and gave it to us. I also said something to Jeff on Sunday and he said that I should have called, he would have brought it over.

But, I think about my unwillingness to admit that I need help. How often do we admit that we need help? Or even when some one offers, we tell them that we are fine? I am so guilty of that. But, we can't do everything ourselves. This is even true when I am talking to God. In the moments that I desperately need God to show up, my mind wanders to thoughts of not wanting to bother Him. Bother God? When is a parent ever bothered when their child truly needs them? When are we (to make it personal) hesitant to help a friend? I have no problem giving myself to help others that I care for, but why do I pause when wanting to give them that same opportunity. Am I robbing some one of the option to help?

As I lay in bed with my wife last night, I thought about what my in-laws and others are teaching me. My in-laws know that we don't expect them to do things like buy us a new lawn mower. My in-laws are thankful that they can help. They are generous both with their time and money. They are examples that I should learn from. Friends who were there on Saturday aren't there because they are obligated, but because they are our friends and they want to help. I can learn that asking for help isn't bothering some one. Its an opportunity to let them teach you about generosity. I have no clue if any of this makes sense. But I know that I am learning.