Character

I started and then stopped a book by Andy Stanley called "Louder than Words". Its about real character and God's definition, not our own. That can be sort of hard to take, since we all claim to know what character is or at least what we want it to be. However, the whole giving up of control and listening to what God says we should do is a bit different.

I just started rereading this book and it really is a "stop and analyze yourself" type experience. We, or at least I, have the tendency to try and rationalize my actions. If I spoke out of anger, well it was because I was upset. I was upset because of what some one else did. What that other person did was unnecessary or in some way belittled me and thus I am justified. Thats how my mind works through those things. It doesn't stop and say, what did I do? That isn't the question to me, its more about what some one else did. Thats the first step, in my exercise, about trying to be a person of character. See, we are called to live a life that is different. God wants people to look at us and see there is a difference than the way that everyone else reacts. If that means that we have to humble ourselves and take responsibility when we don't feel like we are, thats ok. Its not the end of the world.

Here is the personal example. Monday I was doing the mail at work, which is a job that I am asked to do from time to time. I used to get upset when I had to do it, but that was petty and a couple things have happened and I am enjoying it more than I used to. So, I am getting past the anger over being asked to do a job that technically isn't mine. Well, on Monday, I get completely done with the mail when some one calls and says that I didn't pick up their mail and that I would have to get it and take it across to another location. It wasn't unreasonable, and I should have done it. Instead, I decided to get mad and tell them that I had never picked up their mail when I had done the mail in the past and that they should ask some one else to take it to the other location. I look bad in this situation and rightfully so. The past couple days it has been in my mind both because I knew that I had done wrong and that I allowed myself to get upset over nothing. I could only do one thing today, apologize. So, first thing this morning, I went up to the office that I missed and apologized for missing their mail and the way that I handled the situation. She said that it wasn't anything and didn't think anything of it. However, to me this was a question of how I wanted to live my life. Do I want to be the person who gets upset or do I want to be the person who admits their mistakes?

I don't tell that story for praise, because I could have easily avoided that by taking 10 minutes and walking the mail across the building. Instead, I am learning. And as often is the case when we are learning, we make the wrong decisions and have to do things the hard way. Thankfully, nothing really all that bad happened due to my decision. And I am hopeful that the next time that I am confronted with the same situation or a similar one, I will act like I should, like a person following God's character.